I Had To Accept The Crumbs And Trust That God Would Make A Meal Out Of It
God does not want you to try harder, He wants you to trust HIM deeper. Stop trying. Start trusting. This will change everything in you—
May 23, 2019. Best and maybe one of the hardest days of my life. If you read my previous blog, you’ll understand my leap of faith, but I questioned some things shortly after. My trust in him shifted. Three weeks into my decision I started to question a lot. Did I make the right choice? Did I make it at the right time? Should I go back even if its just temporary? I felt like my whole entire life came down and I started to feel myself slipping. I felt like I was just picking up and putting together pieces of my life. Find something here,okay this might fit. Nope, that doesn’t work let me take that away. Okay let me readjust this to fit that. Like seriously I felt like I was trying to piece my WHOLE life together in a matter of time.
I have been working since I was 15. This was like a culture shock for me. Time was finally on my side and here I was stressing like hell. I had to figure out what was a trigger for my anxiety. Every time I got triggered, I channeled my energy to something effective. I ran, wrote, cleaned, walked. I had to come up with a plan and be specific about what I was asking God to piece together for me. I also had to trust where God was trying to align and realign the pieces of my life. I lost trust at times. I questioned my faith. I cried. I cried so much but I felt so good because I felt God after each cry.
The pieces, or crumbs, of your life are meant to be a lil loose sometimes. There are times when you are supposed to scramble how to figure it out before it all comes together. But during your scrambling remember that God is the creator of all things. Trust the process. I had to trust God to lead me to the right puzzle, or meal because without the confusion or weary it would have never strengthened my faith. I had to accept my life as what it was and what it was becoming. I had to accept the crumbs and trust that God would make a meal out of it. -
—Yours Purely
